I finally went into a chat room tonight. I was hesitant but once I made it in, I was welcomed by so many people! I felt like I had come home at long last. I spent only 3 hours there when suddenly this woman entered (the name is actually written when one enters the chat , so monitoring arrivals and exits is quite simple). Everyone seemed to know her quite well. This is a whole new world to me, and I think I rather like it! Anyway, her name struck me like a thunderbolt! It seemed so unusual yet familiar. I felt an instant connection with her, so I said hello (which is customary, I quickly learned). It was when she responded with a public greeting to me and a kiss (anyway I think * means kiss), that I knew she was the one. I am grounded, at long last.
Her screen name is ShesNotThere, and she lives only a few miles from me! Diary... (I know only you will relate to this) I feel I have known her before, perhaps in a past life. She actually sent me an immediate message... it pops up on my screen! It made my cock hard, and I know this is a sign of some sort. She also sent me her photograph, which kind of set me back a bit. She is far too pretty, but I can handle the likes of her. Her eyes are clear and bright, and they were staring straight at ME in that photo! It is now the wallpaper on my monitor. I think she has deep feelings for me, although she signed off without saying goodbye. I believe she may have been overwhelmed by the sexual vibrations within the window of the IM message box..
I stayed in that chatroom all damn day, to no avail. She TOLD me she was in there on a daily basis. She lied. That fucking bitch. I asked several people if she had been in there, but no one would answer me. I think perhaps they sense my strength and are protective of her. I actually put her on this buddy list! It always says she is not online, but I think she may be blocked. I may be losing ground here, so I am going to meditate and breathe for a day. I need to escape from this computer.
I practiced my yoga and then checked her profile. My God, she had her actual name there! My gloom has faded and sunlight has overwhelmed my soul. All is not lost, after all! I looked her up in the phone book, and there she was. When I saw her name written out like that well I don't even know what to write here. I am filled with such deep emotion and love for her (and I know she senses it because she runs from me so). But I know she has a desperate need for something meaningful, and I intend to see that her dream is fulfilled. I now have her address also.
I dialed her number and was disappointed to see she is a part of the masses who hide behind machines. I am not at all surprised. Her soft, cool voice put me in a rather strange, trance-like state, and my cock became hard. I listened to her message seven times as I masturbated. She never acknowledged me when she entered that chat room today, but I am a forgiving man. I KNOW she saw me. I said "Hello, my love" (in caps for Christ's sakes). I thought at first it was an oversight on her part, so I decided to send her an "immediate message". She was blocked! BLOCKED!! Filthy whore. I will deal with THAT in my own way.
I would like to apologize for my lack of entries. I have been extremely busy these past few days. But I had to put pen to pad and tell you the good news, along with the bad. I can only go without your witness for so long, because you alone do I trust.
I, of course (being the expediant and prudent man that I am), drove to her neighborhood and located her condo quite easily . In fact, I have done this for three days (and well into the evenings, I might add). I watch her walk her little dog (not a pure-bred, much to my chagrin) at 5:00 pm., and I see her lights go out late into the night when she decides to sleep. I am both saddened and angered that she has chosen to ignore my strong and magnetic presence. But I know it is her fear of being hurt that holds her back. Her hair... oh dear diary, if you could but see it. One day my fingers will grasp those silky locks. One day. The bad news, by the way, is that she seems a bit reluctant to respond to my advances in the chat room. I think she knows how powerful I am and is fighting her attraction to me. I believe she has been deeply hurt in the past and fears intimacy on ANY level. And I am quite positive she senses the magnetism between us, so she pulls away. I'll have to do something soon to gain her trust and confidence.
She came into the room today. I waited five hours for her arrival. I decided to be blunt and to the point, so I asked her out IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! Yes, I am not your basic wimp and I detest those who are. I may have missed her response, in fact I'm certain I did. In any event, I repeated the offer. She FINALLY responded in her colorful and sexy font, saying she did not get involved with men online, but that she was flattered. Flattered? OMG ahahahaha. Well, I was quick to respond to THAT! Yes, dear friend, I admonished her in front of them ALL. And then I nailed her for being the wicked, lying and ugly slut she really is. But my wrath is unsatiated, and I sense trouble and darkness may be close at hand.
I am unable to sleep. I pray for an hours rest but it evades me. I smoked 3 packs of cigarettes in the last 24 hours and I need a shave. I'll cut this short, I can't think clearly-more later.
Dear Diary, I return...
I drove by her place this evening and saw her walking to her mailbox. She looked right at me as if she didn't know who I was! She looked beautiful but she just isn't there, you understand? I consider good grammar and flawless spelling of the utmost importance in a relationship, and she does it with such... radiance. I can tell you these things, because you and you alone understand my ordeal here (and the reasoning behind my innate anger). She falsely led me to believe we were special, and that my search was perhaps coming to an end. This was a crucial mistake on her part, as she will soon discover.
Diary, forgive me. I have not slept in days, so I pray I don't misspell or... I can't think. Today I purchased a new knife. It cost me well over six hundred dollars but it's a masterpiece, just like her. She deserve's the best, don't you agree?
What can I say? I saw her again today. I can't seem to help myself. She consumes me. I followed her inconspicuously (she had no clue). Good thing my car blends. HER'S, on the other hand, is red and flashy. Figures. Same color as her slutty little font.
Last night was a bit more difficult. She had a date, which made my blood boil. Why does she insist on angering me so? They drove to the beach, which added frustration to my madness (did I say madness, dear friend? Bad choice of words). I detest driving on these fucking freeways. Anyway, they never saw me. I am far too clever for that. She will very soon regret the moment she came on to me in that chat room. So what if I had no picture( I must do something about that soon, by the way). I'll use Jack's photo. Yes, yes... that will work. She was quite stupid (now that I think about it) to have mentioned where she lived. I guess she assumed no one in that room was local (big mistake on her part, unfortunately). Whore. Anyway, that asshole spent most of the night at her place. I watched their silhouettes through her shade, and I masturbated when I knew they were fucking. I think she sensed my presence because, soon after, she turned off all the lights. The jerk she seduced left around 4:00 am.
And THAT, Dear Diary, is when I slipped inside. The moron forgot to lock the door behind him! LOL... hell, he's probably a regular in that pathetic chat room she ruled! Anyway, it didn't take long. I just needed to let her know that not all of us on the internet are weak and gullible.
Her body breathed evenly beneath a thin cream colored satin sheet, and she was draped in moonlight. She didn't hear a thing as I stared at her from the side of the bed. Why would she? Had to be wiped out by all that FUCKING, for God's sake. The new knife felt cool and confident in my hand as I slowly pulled the top sheet back with my other to expose her naked breasts. How many men from that room had seen her nude like that, anyway? Nasty little tramp. Well, dear friend, as I raised my arm high above my head, her eyes slowly opened. They were clear and bright for a split second, and then they widened in sheer terror. It was a beautiful sight. I lunged the blade first between her bare breasts, and then swiftly again into her soft belly. She never even had a chance to scream. I am (as you well know) a prudent and expediant man. And NOBODY (especially some little local chat room whore) is going to fuck with ME. I got my nut of course (as I always do and as you well know), and then slowly closed and locked her front door behind me as I left. Perhaps now I can sleep.
I believe I have missed a day from some badly needed rest, but I am revived now and thinking quite clearly, so I must tell you this. Not an hour ago I entered the chat room (under another screen name, of course), and was slightly taken aback to see all the frantic typing going on. It appeared to me all 36 of those "regulars" (although I choose to call them IRREGULARS) were asking the same question. "Where is ShesNotThere? Where is she, where is she?" bla bla bla. I mean, not one of those people greeted me! I was (and still am) stunned by that type of rudeness. It is beyond my comprehension that manners seem to be a forgotten behavior these days. I decided right then and there these chatrooms are just not my cup of tea (or perhaps a different room may be in accordance here?). Such ignorance. I saw the boring repetition of words flowing down my monitor (not unlike the flow of her blood), all of them asking the same thing, "Is it true? Is she dead? Where is she?" bla bla bla. Then I typed (in my unobtrusive font) ShesNotThere (duh), and left. What Idiots.